Tuesday, February 11, 2014

For reasons I'll never know...

I often struggle with topics to discus on this lovely blog.
Do I talk about being chubby?
Do I talk about my love for Butterfingers Reese's, the fact I may have put on one or four pounds since Christmas?
Do I talk about Owen, because Lord knows I could go on and on...
Do I talk about being a young step mom?
Do I talk about the fact that I have one year left of college, and have no idea when I want to finish...

Today I want to discuss friendship at its best, and the people who have impact my life and been here for me for reasons I'll never know.

I have no order of who has done the most or the least, because I feel only one has done the most and others are equal. They have equally impact my life in ways that no one else has.

Helena Celaya, my mothers youngest sister, my Aunt, my confidant. As soon as Korey and I were place in foster care, she treated me like family. Always nurturing and caring. I have went to her for advice, for school, when I lost my virginity, when I met Austin, when Austin got burnt, when I was hurting, when I got engaged, when I got pregnant, when I got pregnant again, when I had a miscarriage, through my good and bad, I have always went to my auntie h.
Never once has she judged or condemned me. When I found out I was pregnant with Owen, she was the one person who told me exactly what I needed to hear. The one person who showed zero judgement. She is what every woman needs in life. If and when Austin and I have a little girl, she will have my Aunts middle name. If and when Austin and I renew our wedding vows, its her voice I want to hear in prayer.

 

 



Kaela. My best friend. We haven't know each other long. Sure we went to high school together and acknowledged each other, but we weren't on close terms. After many 'likes' on social media, we started talking about weight loss, which lead to hanging out, going to the gym, watching movies and laughing. Kaela tells me exactly what I need to hear, and she doesn't sugar coat that shit because she knows I'll eat it up. She has such a big heart and a smart ass mouth that has in return rubbed off on myself as well as my sweet two year old. The unconditional love she has for my kids is unreal. I couldn't as for a better friend. A thousand years I could never repay her for all she has done for me.

Korey, my brother, the one person other then my son, I would take a bullet for...I would take one for Austin as well, but probably in the leg....I don't have to have reasons for why I love my brother and what he has done for me. He's amazing, period.

 

 
 

 

 
 

 


Lauren Taylor, now Lauren Seay...I mean she made my Xanga in high school, why wouldn't she meet this list?? I met Lauren my sophomore year when I was on the debate team...yes the debate team. She was just fun, and easy to get a long with. Two years later, I re met Lauren when I started dating her twin brother. She is someone who has so much love in her heart for people. That's right people. You treat Lauren well, she will bring you under her wing and love you like family. Her whole family is this way. When Garrett and I broke up, I was devastated. Not so much over Garrett either, more over the fact I was losing his family.  Did Garrett and I like each other, sure, but was it the love that will be forever yaddaya, no. I think we liked the idea of liking each other, and it was easy. After we broke up, Lauren was still there. To tell me when I was being slutty, yes I said slutty, and to listen when I hurt. When Austin got burnt, I called her. I cried to her. I knew if one person in the world understood how I felt, it would be her. She knows what to say, and when to say it. Those quotes you google to put on Facebook, I don't have too, Lauren says it all. Even though we don't talk all the time, when she got pregnant, bam I was there. If she needed something I would do it. Just like I can text or call her and know she will listen, and say what I need to here. I hope that in thirty years I can still call and know she's still gonna have two ears to hear me and one heart to love.

 



Natalie, my sister in law. Some may think its strange I am writing this or choosing her. As many bad times that we have had, we have had good as well. The one thing I love most about Natalie, is she owns it. She doesn't pretend we had fights or didn't agree with something. She is one person who I have been shitty too, and in return I know she forgives me for it. We have caused more pain to each other, and yet I still need her and crave her friendship, her sisterly advice. Maybe its because what I lack she has and what she lacks I do. We may not agree on a lot, shoot we may actually agree on one thing, but having her on my side is better then on the other.

 




Haley, also known as Gayley.
Always and forever baby.
No distance, no lack of communication, nothing.
Always will I love you.

Raine---->I shit in your toilet in middle school and clogged it up, I mean what else does a friendship need?
I kid, but for real you welcomed me with open arms, when all I had at the time was Haley, and I didn't really have her, yet yall still were the ones I went to, and go too.

Chelsey, we haven't talked for long, shoot we have hung out at birthday parties and that's it, but you made my list.
Probably because I confide in you.
I talk shit with you.
I laugh, and we agree on most things.
From our raunchy sex books, to how we raise our kids, I hope in one year, five years, shoot sixteen years we will still be friends, hopefully better friends, especially considering Owen will take Tea to prom. (;

Austin Vance, last but not least.
What can I say that I haven't said before.
You make me vulnerable.
You see me how I wish I could see myself.
You spoil me, take care of me, tell me I'm smoking when clearly I don't feel that way.
You rescued me.
I will always love you.
 




This list isn't to hurt people I didn't mention, just to highlight the ones who have really made a print in my life.
For the most part, all the people on this list, I have hurt, and they have still loved me.
They know my deepest secrets, and yet they don't judge.
I may not have many friends, but I have ones that matter.
I surround myself with people I don't have to walk on eggshells with, because who wants to do that?




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