I need this...

Sorry I have been MIA, I have been busy not doing anything.
Seriously, the lack of motivation I have is unreal.
Thank God Owen is going through a growth spurt and sleeps in a little late, or I would be screwed.
I miss the K'lynn that first moved up here and was kicking ass and dropping pounds.
Now, I am just sending Austin text to bring me home a surprise and I will do him...well I will not be a mega rudeass.
The weight is slowly coming back on, and I am slowly getting bitchier about it.
Yet, I don't do anything.
I go to the gym twice, and I get so sore...

I am the worlds worse at:
"Austin, I need new workout clothes, that will help me lose weight."
"Austin, I need a polar watch, that will help me lose weight."
"I need a ipod."
"Austin, I just need to go buy a ton of groceries, that will help."
"Austin, I ordered Advocare, that will do it!"
"Austin, I really just need a massage, get all the bad toxins out...that will help me."

Eventually, Austin is going to ask, 'why the hell are you still fat??'
Maybe not in those words, but he will wonder.

Honestly, I don't know what has happened to me.
Maybe I am secretly depressed and miss my friends?
Maybe this Texas trip will be just what I need in order to get my ass in gear.

I know I could be cleaning right now, or hell even be at the gym, but instead I am updating the world on my lack of determination.

Shoot, I should go make some food, and get ready.
Go to the gym.
Go get my oil changed.
Come home and clean.
I need to wake up and be bad ass.
Who is this fatty patty taking over??

I mean, at least I'm not mean and have crooked teeth?

I wish...

I just put Owen down for a nap, and started a load of laundry. I know, I live the life of a stay at home mom and wife!

I can't help but wish I was as cool as my Pinterest board.
I'm sure people think I am an amazing chef, I'm super fit, I'm pregnant, I'm also this one of a kind Pinterest mom.
Wrong.
Oh so wrong about all of those, well except I am an 'okay' cook.

I look back on the past two and some odd months of Owens life, and wish I did some of those awesome chalk boards that overachieving great moms do for the milestones.

Since I didn't do that, today I will just talk up my sweet little man and all he does!
Owen is such a smart, over achieving, funny kid!

Right now, today he:

Loves to eat: muffins, scallops, shrimp, rice, eggs, asparagus, grapes, and 'snacks'.
MILKMILKMILKMILK!!
The boy loves some milk, and juice 'pretty pretty please mommy'.

His favorite movie is: Frozen, Monsters Inc., and The Incredibles!
His favorite show: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, 'because it's funny mommy'. He also likes Sophia the first, which I love!
The boy has some lungs on him! He loves to sing 'Let it Go', Johnny Cash, Taylor Swift, really anything that is upbeat and fun!

He isn't potty trained just yet, but he is learning fast.
Bath times are a blast, he has the best laugh and loves splashing and coloring with bathtub paint.

His vocabulary is way above a two year old he talks non stop, and learns new words everyday.
He is so polite, right now his big thing is telling us, "Thank you for food mommy and daddy, I had fun eating with you."
Melts my heart to know how great his manners are.
He loves being a little shit though, he gets that from his momma, but he sweet lovable self...he gets that from his daddy!
Boy can that boy be sweet!
He is so lovable, outgoing, funny, charming, and all those qualities come from his daddy!

I love the little boy we have, and the bond that he shares with both of us!
Owen James, dontcha ever grow up.

Woke up fatter..

Woke up today and looked at Austin, "I dieted all day yesterday, and worked out! Surely I lost something!!"

I was so ready to weigh in! I mean super pumped, my body was sore, I burned some calories at the gym, I ate well, I mean clearly I had to be skinny!
Wrong, I went up on the scale, and Austin went down.
Obviously I was pissed.
I mean come on now, he played ps4, and ate semi well.
I worked my ass off, and my ass was feeling it.

Men.
I gotta keep going though.
My best friend told me that its totally obvious, I mean come on its my muscles!
My other best friend thinks I'm hot no matter what, and is ready to eat food with me when I come to Texas!

So why am I so fat?
What happened to my head strong ways just a month ago?
Cheese happened.
Chocolate happened.
Dr. Pepper happened.
My love for food.
I'm actually eating a grilled cheese right this second. Just one though.
I mean, I love food.
I love it when I'm happy or sad.
We use food to celebrate occasions, we buy each other food as gifts.

Just the other day, we went to Red Lobster...I got grilled glazed chicken, and asparagus...you bet your ass I ate four of those cheesy breads, and had a Bahama Momma too!

I mean its everywhere. I can eliminate it from my life, but I will find ways around it.
I don't want my house to smell like fish, if I wanted to smell fish all day, I would be a stripper.
I only like a few veggies, and Austin gets tired of my stinky asparagus pee.
I don't blame him, I hate smelling Owens.
I love chicken and steak, alldayumday I could live off it.

Should I do an all protein meal plan?
Should I go back to counting calories?
Whats gonna get my ass in gear?

I mean I love when the weight comes off! I have a new found love for clothes, and not just from Old Navy! I shop at other place, I buy things that fit!
So what can I do?
Get my ass in the gym again, check.
Drink more water, piss.
Count calories is and always has been my best bet.
Looks like I need to get strict and start relying on good ol' my fitness pal once again.
It's worked every single time, it will work this time too!
Here's to getting skinny!

It must be in the water

I have so many friends who are pregnant right now and it makes my uterus scream!
Now, it doesn't make my fatty rolls scream for more stretch marks, but indeed I have the fever!
All I can think, is it must be in the water.
If I drank water enough, I just might be in the club.

When the time is right, I just might get lucky enough for another!
Right now, everything is pretty hectic.
Austin works a lot, and is in the process of doing a side business with two of his really good friends. I am so excited for him to start this new adventure, but at the same time I don't like losing time with him.
We are planning our vacation to Texas in March! I am so happy to see my friends and family!
March is also mine and Austins three year wedding anniversary!
Crazy to think it's been three years!
March 8, we are taking Owen to see Disney on Ice 100 years of magic! I am so excited for him to get to experience this! He is at such a fun age and I know he will just love every bit of it!
We are going to stay in Pittsburgh that night and fly out to Texas the next morning for a nice break!
I'm not sure what Austin has planned for the 11th (our 3 year), but the 12-14 we will be going to The Great Wolf Lodge for some water fun and alone time with the two kiddos!
I have already went and bought swim suits for the kids! I am so pumped for our mini vacation!
Sometime during our visit, we will be getting family photos done, we weren't able to do them this past Christmas, so we are hitting up the spring!
I'm sure we will have family time, and hanging out time, I haven't been able to make tons of plans.

For sure though, I am seeing Divergent with Chelsey we may even stuff our faces!
Kaela and I are gonna do painting with a twist!
I will do dinner and what not, and just enjoy the beauty that Texas has to offer!
I couldn't be happier that we are going!

Other then planing that, Austin wants to plan something fun for the summer, not sure what he has in mind, but I am all in!
I am busy planning our imaginary home on Pinterest, as well as getting my butt into the gym, and trying to get Owen potty trained.
He did so great the first week, then I stopped trying as hard, and I think he got embarrassed as well.
I don't blame him, he's a great kid, I know he will get it all down when hes ready!

I am so excited to see whats next for my little man and our family!

Valentines Day..

Valentines Day has come an gone, like most holidays you have those who just fume out negative energy.
It gets old people.
Real fast.

Yes, Valentines is a hallmark holiday, but it's fun!
I am sure its chaotic for the flower shops, as well as candy stores, but it is fun.
Cheesy, yes, but as Austin says it's a extra day to get some extra loving.
Brown chicken brown cow.

I saw so many girls posting things, degrading others for showing off what they got.

'So many materialistic women theses days, I just want a day to watch sports all day long and smell his farts.'

Well, I'm sure I would say that too if I was indeed single or wanted to jump a guys bones.
I mean come on now, I doubt you would shit on a mans face if he brought you home a gift card to get a pedicure as well as some fancy diamonds.
Don't be bitter because you are single. Embrace it, and go buy all the candy that's fifty percent off the next day.

I mean why ruin a holiday for others?
I mean, we all know a Debby downer, and Negative Nancy.

'Oh my husband is taking me to dinner I can't wait'

'Yeah, my cat died, and I have herpes no one wants to take me out'

Sucks to suck.

Sure, I am spoiled.
I don't see it as me being needy, I see it as some moms raised there boys the right way.
I intend to raise Owen the same way.
You should want to shower your other with gifts, praise, and love.
I have had my share in bad boyfriends, so the fact that I have a kick ass husband, hells yes I am going to brag and shoot smoke up his butt!

To all you who throw Valentines day under the bus, go out, eat all the chocolate you want, and possibly be single longer...or wake up, be bad ass, and maybe someone will want to be your Valentine next year.

Maybe not though.

For reasons I'll never know...

I often struggle with topics to discus on this lovely blog.
Do I talk about being chubby?
Do I talk about my love for Butterfingers Reese's, the fact I may have put on one or four pounds since Christmas?
Do I talk about Owen, because Lord knows I could go on and on...
Do I talk about being a young step mom?
Do I talk about the fact that I have one year left of college, and have no idea when I want to finish...

Today I want to discuss friendship at its best, and the people who have impact my life and been here for me for reasons I'll never know.

I have no order of who has done the most or the least, because I feel only one has done the most and others are equal. They have equally impact my life in ways that no one else has.

Helena Celaya, my mothers youngest sister, my Aunt, my confidant. As soon as Korey and I were place in foster care, she treated me like family. Always nurturing and caring. I have went to her for advice, for school, when I lost my virginity, when I met Austin, when Austin got burnt, when I was hurting, when I got engaged, when I got pregnant, when I got pregnant again, when I had a miscarriage, through my good and bad, I have always went to my auntie h.
Never once has she judged or condemned me. When I found out I was pregnant with Owen, she was the one person who told me exactly what I needed to hear. The one person who showed zero judgement. She is what every woman needs in life. If and when Austin and I have a little girl, she will have my Aunts middle name. If and when Austin and I renew our wedding vows, its her voice I want to hear in prayer.

 

 

Kaela. My best friend. We haven't know each other long. Sure we went to high school together and acknowledged each other, but we weren't on close terms. After many 'likes' on social media, we started talking about weight loss, which lead to hanging out, going to the gym, watching movies and laughing. Kaela tells me exactly what I need to hear, and she doesn't sugar coat that shit because she knows I'll eat it up. She has such a big heart and a smart ass mouth that has in return rubbed off on myself as well as my sweet two year old. The unconditional love she has for my kids is unreal. I couldn't as for a better friend. A thousand years I could never repay her for all she has done for me.

Korey, my brother, the one person other then my son, I would take a bullet for...I would take one for Austin as well, but probably in the leg....I don't have to have reasons for why I love my brother and what he has done for me. He's amazing, period.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lauren Taylor, now Lauren Seay...I mean she made my Xanga in high school, why wouldn't she meet this list?? I met Lauren my sophomore year when I was on the debate team...yes the debate team. She was just fun, and easy to get a long with. Two years later, I re met Lauren when I started dating her twin brother. She is someone who has so much love in her heart for people. That's right people. You treat Lauren well, she will bring you under her wing and love you like family. Her whole family is this way. When Garrett and I broke up, I was devastated. Not so much over Garrett either, more over the fact I was losing his family.  Did Garrett and I like each other, sure, but was it the love that will be forever yaddaya, no. I think we liked the idea of liking each other, and it was easy. After we broke up, Lauren was still there. To tell me when I was being slutty, yes I said slutty, and to listen when I hurt. When Austin got burnt, I called her. I cried to her. I knew if one person in the world understood how I felt, it would be her. She knows what to say, and when to say it. Those quotes you google to put on Facebook, I don't have too, Lauren says it all. Even though we don't talk all the time, when she got pregnant, bam I was there. If she needed something I would do it. Just like I can text or call her and know she will listen, and say what I need to here. I hope that in thirty years I can still call and know she's still gonna have two ears to hear me and one heart to love.

 

Natalie, my sister in law. Some may think its strange I am writing this or choosing her. As many bad times that we have had, we have had good as well. The one thing I love most about Natalie, is she owns it. She doesn't pretend we had fights or didn't agree with something. She is one person who I have been shitty too, and in return I know she forgives me for it. We have caused more pain to each other, and yet I still need her and crave her friendship, her sisterly advice. Maybe its because what I lack she has and what she lacks I do. We may not agree on a lot, shoot we may actually agree on one thing, but having her on my side is better then on the other.

 

Haley, also known as Gayley.
Always and forever baby.
No distance, no lack of communication, nothing.
Always will I love you.

Raine---->I shit in your toilet in middle school and clogged it up, I mean what else does a friendship need?
I kid, but for real you welcomed me with open arms, when all I had at the time was Haley, and I didn't really have her, yet yall still were the ones I went to, and go too.

Chelsey, we haven't talked for long, shoot we have hung out at birthday parties and that's it, but you made my list.
Probably because I confide in you.
I talk shit with you.
I laugh, and we agree on most things.
From our raunchy sex books, to how we raise our kids, I hope in one year, five years, shoot sixteen years we will still be friends, hopefully better friends, especially considering Owen will take Tea to prom. (;

Austin Vance, last but not least.
What can I say that I haven't said before.
You make me vulnerable.
You see me how I wish I could see myself.
You spoil me, take care of me, tell me I'm smoking when clearly I don't feel that way.
You rescued me.
I will always love you.

 

This list isn't to hurt people I didn't mention, just to highlight the ones who have really made a print in my life.
For the most part, all the people on this list, I have hurt, and they have still loved me.
They know my deepest secrets, and yet they don't judge.
I may not have many friends, but I have ones that matter.
I surround myself with people I don't have to walk on eggshells with, because who wants to do that?

What does Feb. 14th mean to you....

I was reading a blog, and found a set of questions asked to a man, and got a good little laugh out of it.
I decided to ask Austin the same questions, and see what he thought.
Austin is pretty vulgar at times, and even though I should probably censor his answers, I wont.
I mean, I got a good laugh out of him.

1. What Valentines gift do you think women want most?

I think women just want to be disappointed, so that they can bitch about it for a whole year about what you didn't get.

2. What's a lady's ideal place to celebrate Valentines night?

Probably a really expensive restaurant, but it has to have good lighting for all her selfies she will share on ALL her social media sites.

3. If she could pick a meal for you to cook, what would it be?

Steak. Women love some meat...

4. Whats more important to get your lady on Valentines: flowers, chocolate, or lingerie?

Flower in my mouth, chocolate on the body, lingerie on the flo!
I kid, were married that won't happen. Food, always food, and as she eats tell her how effing skinny she is.

5. Do you think you should get something special on Valentines?

Yup, starts with a 'b' and ends with a 'j'

6. You're on your way home, and forget its Valentines, what do you do?

Turn my ass around and self destruct. It's Valentines, we don't forget. As soon as February hit, we have been told daily that Valentines is coming up.

7. If you could give your wife a candy heart with something personal on it, what would you say??

Sorry I got you nasty ass candy heart.


Well, you heard it here. Words of the hubs, I mean he is such a romantic. How did I get so lucky?

I got an award?

I mean I feel flattered!
Shout out to Brittany, new blogger, new buddy!

I don't really know how this works.
I answer some questions and write some new ones, and find 11 new bloggers, with less then 200 followers to do the same.
Well, shat.
I don't know 11 new bloggers with less then 200 followers, but I will try.

The questions I got are the following:

 

Paper or plastic grocery bags?

Plastic, I heard that paper causes cockroaches, and um hell to the no to those bad boys.

Favorite perfume/cologne?

Daisy, Marc Jacobs.

Smells soo sexy and fierce.

Money not being issue, dream job?

I am a stay at home mom, and I love it!

College not being an issue, and me wanting to finish it, I would do anything with forensic.

What would be your perfect snow day?

Eff the snow.

I moved from Texas to West Virginia, and it snows all the damn time.

 

What is your favorite Olympic sport?

Acasuse me?

I don't know...Michael Phelps...

You finallly win the publishers clearing house sweepstakes, what do you do with that money?

These questions are hard....Pay my car off...take a vacation?

Now I sound a little to bratty.

Why did you become a blogger?

I stalked many other bloggers, and decided I could do this.

So I started writing about being fat, being married, and having my little mini.

What is your favorite holiday and why?

Christmas. I love giving, and especially Christmas with my babies.

If you wrote a letter to your 22 year old self, what would you say?

Well, that would be me a year ago....

Don't move away from the hubs, yall are gonna hate the distance.

Stop thinking you are super fat, just keep going.

Stand up for yourself, love more, hate less.

What is your guilty pleasure?

Reading naughty books, eating white cheddar popcorn, dr. pepper, getting my nails done way to much.

I mean I have a lot.

Give yourself 6 months, where would you travel?

Diagon Alley...

I mean who wouldn't.

 

My 11 questions....

 

If I could tell Obama what I think of him.....

Harry Potter is....

What is your favorite book?

How many kids do you have/want?

Who is your favorite blogger and why?

What is your favorite show?

I phone or Android?

My celeb crush is...

My best friend and I are best friends because...

What is your favorite movie to quote?

What movie has the best soundtrack?

 

 

My bloggers I pick:

 

Deidra

Kaela

 

I will try to find more....

 

 

Dead beat

Obviously the world knows I blow smoke up Austins butt.
I think the world of that man! Not only is he my best friend, my husband, but he's also a damn good daddy.
I don't address it often, but we don't have full custody of Brylee anymore.
It had nothing to do with us being neglectful or bad parents, but more to do with outsiders giving up informantion and then pulling out.
What felt like a million dollars later and three judges, we threw in the towel and said we would come back later.
With that being said, it's clear that we don't see her often.
When we lived in Texas, we saw her four days a month, which was hell, because the majority of our visit was driving to get her and take her home, but we did it and loved the time we had.
Now that we are outta state, we get her for holidays, spring break, and summer vacation. Those days, add up to more then what we were seeing her so in my eyes its a win.

With all that being said, Austin is a damn good dad. He goes above and beyond to ensure Brylee and Owen both know how much he loves and cares for them, which he should.
He should do all the things he does for Brylee, and I am very proud that he does.
But, he often gets catorgorized in to the 'dead beat dad' group becuase he isn't with the mother of his first child, and doesn't have custody of her.
Um no. Hell No.

I am here to clarify that yes dead beats do exist, way to many to my liking, but not all dads are.

1+1=3
Yes, I did go to school, I know how to do math.
If you decide to have unprotected sex, you are deciding to potentially be a parent.
You don't have to run off and get married if you get pregnant, but you do have to get your stuff together.
Don't have a job, get one.
Don't like baby momma, sucks to be you.
Favor one kid over the other, you're an ass.
Run your mouth about baby momma, you're a bigger ass.
I mean, it does go both ways, I see dead beat moms out there trying to find baby daddy number two, who will play daddy for both.
Do I think child support is a joke?
Hells yes.
Do I think you should finacially support your child?
Hells yes, but thats YOUR child, not baby momma, baby mommas new man, or baby mommas new hair styles.
I know that can sound shady, but I do see men who pay a good amount of child support, and the kid doesn't have a jacket, but momma has her hair colored and her nails done.

If you flash to social media that you can't see your child, or your baby momma is a bitch, and you don't pay a dime to help out or see your baby...just do the world a favor and sign that baby over to the mom.
You aren't helping anyone by coming into that sweet babies life when its convenient for you.
You are a sorry excuse for a man, if you don't even know what size clothes the kid wears because you have never bought the kid a damn thing.
Get over yourself, and your sorry pride and move on.
Stop making awesome, kick ass dads look bad.
To all the moms out there who gets child support, and has a baby daddy who covers health insurance and helps out anyway they can, STOP bashing him.
You got lucky that those five little minutes of pleasure, that may or not have been that great, that turned into a baby was with someone who steps up to the plate.
You think  you have it bad, because you feel you don't get enough money, or your pissed that the kid has more at dads house, or you may not like new wife.
Get the hell over it.
Your baby daddy could be in prison.
Your baby daddy could walk away.
He may have decided to eff child support.
OR he could be a huge asshat and make your life hell.

I mean not every man puts it in the right place, but some step up.