Blended family

Being married to someone who was previously married, and shares a child with someone is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done.
Before you jump to conclusions and act as though I am jealous or crazy hear me out.
I don't care that Austin had previous relations with someone else, I don't care how many relations that he had that was his past, and I am his present.
Austin wasn't my first boyfriend, he was the first 'man' I dated though.
Austin having a daughter doesn't bother me at all, I came into the relationship knowing that I would often have to jump hoops to please others.
And I have.
Saying it has been a walk in the park would be a lie.
I have faced many trials in my life and none compares to being a parent to someone who you did not birth.
I feel as though not only do I want to please Brylee, but I have to ensure how I am with her will please Austin as well as Brylees mother.
I have to watch and not cross boundaries.
I am constantly trying to ensure that I don't treat Owen differently then I do Brylee, when the truth is I know that I do. I know that anytime I go somewhere with Owen, I make sure to buy something for Brylee so she doesn't feel left out.
I feel I can't ever just enjoy Owen with out feeling guilty that someone will say I don't enjoy Brylee as well. It's a constant battle, because I know some people will think I don't care for her.
I do.
I came into her life at two and instantly loved that child.
I also know it has been a struggle lately with her.
I am now her 'step mother' not her parent. She is at a age where I am not her 'real' mom, and can't tell her what to do.
Which is fine, I signed up for this, and I know one day she will have questions that I simply can't answer.
I know one day she will want to live with us, and get pissed off and storm to her mothers.
I know one day she will learn how to play us against each other.
I also know one day I will know exactly what to say and how to say it.
So for now, this is what I have:

Brylee,
You are so young and eager to learn.
I have so much hope for you in your future and know that you will succeed in everything to you put your mind too.
I know at time you don't understand things.
Let me let you in on a secret, either do I.
I know lately you have struggled with this whole arrangement, and I am not sure why, but that's not my place to decide what you should or shouldn't feel.
I want you to know, that Owen and Harbor were both supposed to come into this world.
God has a plan, and they were apart of his plan. I don't ever what you to feel as though your mommy and daddy turned away from you, they both new that mommy had to have Nik, and daddy had to have me to make our families work.
I am sure it doesn't make sense, but that's okay it doesn't need to.
You are so focused on not having the same name as your mom, or feeling as though you can't love me and Nik in fear it will hurt the other people.
That's not true.
We all love you more then anything.
At times we may be sad.
At times we may get hurt, but that doesn't change that we don't love you.
This is all a journey for us, not just you.
There is no right way to raise you, but there is a wrong way.
And we don't want to raise you feeling a sense of entitlement, we don't want you to ever feel that you are better then others, we want you to have a relationship with God, we want you to thrive, we want you to excel, we want you to know your manners, we want you to be able to laugh, to cry to live life to the fullest.
I am not your mother, and I would never try to be your mother, that's not my job.
You have a mother who can love you, and nurture you, share with you her secrets, teach you and guide you.
I am simply a parent. I want the same things for you that your dad wants, and maybe even more.
I see the potential in you.
I know how smart you are.
I don't want you to ever feel as I am 'to hard' on you, that's not it at all. I love you like my own, and want the best things for you.
At times, that maybe hard for you to see, and that's okay I will understand and I will still love you, because that's my job.
I don't have all the answers to the questions you ask, I don't know if I ever will.
I do have two arms to hold you, and two ears to hear you.
Never forget that.